Ethan hawke "black years, Ethan Hawke describes the period after his divorce from Uma Thurman as the "black years".
The 41-year-old actor - who started dating current wife RYAN SHAWHUGHES in 2005 - admits it was "really difficult" to deal with the time following his split from the Hollywood actress in 2004 which resulted in him living in a hotel in Chelsea, New York, for a few years.
He said: "I call it the black years. It was really difficult. It was difficult in ways I couldn't even see at the time. There was the obvious way in which it was difficult - the death of a dream, the inability to parent in the way that you want to.
But for me it was - what's that Dante quote? 'At the midpoint of my life, I've come to the part of the forest where the straight way is lost.' Nothing teaches you like getting levelled. And I got levelled in my early 30s.
"Nothing went exactly the way I thought it would. Wait a second: love isn't real and, holy s**t, I put all this energy into not making the same mistake my parents did and I just re-enacted them all! I thought I was so much smarter than everybody. And I'm not."
The 'Dead Poets Society' star - who has two kids, Indiana and Clementine Jane, with Ryan, and two children, Maya and Levon, with Uma - managed to find solace in theatre acting following his split from Uma, and he used his role as an actor in David Rabe's 'Hurlyburly' to take his anger out.
In an interview with The Guardian newspaper, Ethan, 41, added: "I put every ounce of anger that I possibly possessed into that play and I tried to ventilate it.
I thought, I can't control what people think about me, but the one thing I can control is whether I'm improving as a performer. And my bet is that if I work on doing that I'll probably also, as a domino effect, improve as a person. That's been the goal of the last five or six years."
9 years ago
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